Where’s the daddy?

This month we learnt that only 1/4 of dads in the UK are taking their paternity leave. Which is quite alarming in itself, but even more so when you think that UK paternity leave is only a measly 2 weeks. So imagine how few men would take a full parental allowance which is in line with maternity leave, as it should be and as it is in some countries.

But the question we need to ask is WHY? One thing I’m certain of is that the reason is not that men don’t want to spend time with their babies and families. This is a clear example of gender inequality hitting men. They may be officially and technically entitled to this paternity leave, but too many employers don’t make them feel like they really can and should take it. Men consistently tell me that eyebrows are raised if they even request some flexibility on hours for family reasons, let alone if they were to request to use their paternity leave. The message from employers and managers, whether verbalized or not, is too often that a man who takes time out from work is not committed to his job or career.

And this is not to mention the feedback (or should I say piss-taking) men who take paternity leave are also on the receiving end of from their male colleagues, who are highly amused by picturing them sitting in cafés drinking lattes and having pedicures. One of many reasons why these men REALLY need to take paternity leave by the way.

It’s little wonder most men choose to pass on paternity leave. And we really, really need them not to - in fact, we need them to do a much longer stint of it. Men who take a significant amount of time out of work to care for their children are significantly more likely to be 50/50 parents at home in the long haul, which is good for kids’ development, good for mum’s career (and sanity) and good for dad’s work-life balance and well-being.

So come on employers - we need gender neutral parental policies (and, while we’re at it, gender neutral flexible work policies too). And this means we need them in practice, not just on paper please.

Parenting is gender neutral - let’s start working and living like it is.