The Religion of Choice
I have complex views on abortion. I was brought up Catholic, a faith I abandoned as soon as I left home and was no longer forced to go to mass every Sunday, but which had in the 18 years of my life thus far left some strong imprints. Then I was at the start of my second year as a student at Cambridge University when I found out I was pregnant (at 12 weeks, by the way). Not ideal timing.
It was a clear choice for me, personally, to go ahead and have my baby, who is now my 31 year old son Joe. I am very aware that I was extremely lucky to have a lot of financial support from my family to enable me to finish my degree. My big sister paid for my childcare for a year and gave me a car to ferry baby Joe and all his stuff around. His dad (my ex)’s parents lent us a lot of money to help us through, which P&G helped me pay back in my first few years working there post graduation. I know that many (most) women in this situation don’t have this kind of help and support.
What I remember above all is that, as I made my choice, I was very clear that it was MY choice. Absolutely nobody else’s. And as I look back now to that time, in the context of the US Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe vs Wade, I find it unbelievable to think that if I had been in the wrong place (the wrong US state) at the wrong time (now), it would not have been my choice. I feel devastated for the women who will not have the basic human right of being able to choose whether they are ready and able to take on the enormous task of bringing a child into the world.
My religion is no longer Catholic and, until recently; I would have defined myself as atheist - but I now find myself imagining a world in which the religion that ruled was the religion of Choice. A world where we all get to have our own opinions on what to do and how to do it, where we get to express that and our reasons for thinking it - but where, ultimately, as long as we don’t infringe upon anyone else’s freedom or safety, everyone gets to choose for themselves what they do.
In the Religion of Choice world, for example, we can have our own view on whether we think it is better for us to work in the office or at home, or a mix of both - and we choose. We can have an opinion on how we think a woman should dress and cover herself - and she can decide whether or not she agrees and dress the way she chooses. And we can have an opinion on having an abortion and whether or not we personally would or would not do it, and we can express why we believe that - but it is the woman in the actual situation, facing the reality of it and her personal context, who is the one who is given the right to choose.
So I think I may believe in Choice above all things. Because it is about trust and respect - and humility. It is the belief that another person has the right to decide for themselves, and that they are the best person to do this, because only they really, properly understand their own life and situation.
And that it is, above all, their life.