Feminist phobia

Big reminder for me this week that the version of the world we experience is not always representative of reality. I get so much positive feedback on the book, including from men, and so many requests to work with organizations to drive gender equality that I was starting to believe things were getting better. And then someone told me this.

I’m not going to mention any names to protect the innocent, but I have been in discussion with a potential client (a woman) about doing some workshops with her company to drive gender equality and her focus on this has attracted very negative feedback from some senior men in her organization. She has been criticized for ‘driving the women’s agenda’ and rocking the boat, to the point of feeling that it was best case pointless, worst case damaging for her to attempt to continue.

This, my friends, is why many senior women have feminist phobia (why so many men have it is another question…) and feel they need to steer well clear of the gender equality issue at work. I remember when I was a Senior Vice President and was advised by a top level manager to ‘dial it down on the women stuff’ because ‘it made me look like part of the problem’. Now of course I didn’t, because for me it was far too important an issue to walk away from - but we need to remember that I don’t work there anymore…

Everyday, women everywhere are being coached - sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much - to distance themselves from the gender equality discussion. That it is better to keep your head down and go along smoothly and quietly with the male dominant culture. That, really, it is better if nobody really notices that you are a woman at all.

This is a big problem, because if women who have made it to a senior position and have influence don’t feel they can fight for gender equality, then we are relying on the senior men to do it - and frankly there are not enough feMANists out there yet for us to make real and consistent progress based on that.

We really, really need to eliminate feminist phobia and we won’t get anywhere until we do. We need women to feel safe to raise and drive the issue and men to feel safe to support it -and for that we need everyone to understand that gender equality is not a women’s issue, or a women vs men battle: gender equality benefits everyone, and so all genders should champion it.

There is nothing to fear here.